Escape the Herd
How the Social Default Is Killing Your Life
Right, settle in. You’re staring down the barrel of 40, maybe even past it. The hairline’s receding faster than the British Empire, the waistline’s expanding like the national debt, and you find yourself nodding along to some utter shite just because everyone else is. Sound familiar? That, my friends, is the glorious ‘Social Default’, and it’s strangling the life out of you.
We’re talking about that insidious, deeply ingrained instinct to follow the herd. That little twitch of your fingers that made you clap along to some truly turgid conference speaker, even though your gut was screaming ‘bollocks!’. That, writ large, is the Social Default. It’s the fear of looking like a twat, of being the one not doing what everyone else is doing. And for men hitting middle age and feeling that creeping stagnation, it’s a bloody killer.
Think about it. We spent our younger years trying to stand out, to make our mark, to be the bloke who did things differently, or at least better. Now? We fall into line. We watch the same box sets, talk about the same dull topics at the pub, and grumble about the same bloody things. We outsource our thoughts, our beliefs, our very bloody outcomes to the crowd. Why? Because it’s easier. No need to think for yourself, no need to take a punt, no need to risk looking the fool. Just put your brain on autopilot and have a nice little nap.
This isn’t some new phenomenon, mind you. Emperors had blokes specifically employed to clap, for Christ’s sake. The Romans knew it. Get a few people making a noise, and others will follow. It’s deeply wired into us. Back in the days when saber-toothed tigers were arsing about, being part of the group meant survival. Step out of line, you were probably having lunch. We needed the tribe, so our individual desires, our creative urges, and our willingness to take a risk for a potentially better outcome, took a backseat. The problem is, the world’s moved on, but our primitive wiring hasn’t.
And speaking of primitive wiring, let’s talk about virtue signalling. Oh, the sweet relief of agreeing with the popular opinion, especially when it costs you sod all. Ask a load of students if they’d have been abolitionists if they’d lived in the American South during slavery. Of course, they say yes! It’s the easy, morally superior answer now. Back then? Not so much. Most would have gone along with the prevailing shite, protecting their own necks. It’s the same instinct today. We signal our virtue when it’s safe, but how many of us are willing to actually do the hard thing, the unpopular thing, the thing that might actually make a difference? Not many, when the Social Default has its clammy grip on us.
This fear of being snubbed, ridiculed, of losing that precious social capital – it far outweighs the potential upside of actually thinking for ourselves and doing something different. And that’s where stagnation sets in. If you’re doing what everyone else is doing, you’re going to get what everyone else is getting. Which, in the grand scheme of things, is probably bugger all exciting.
Look at the ditch diggers. All doing the same bloody thing, moving the same amount of dirt. The only way to get ahead? Dig longer. The bloke who swans off to invent a shovel looks like a lunatic. He’s not digging, he’s falling behind. Until the shovel arrives, and suddenly everyone realises he wasn’t mad, he was just thinking differently.
This is where you are, perhaps, stuck in the ditch, digging away, getting nowhere fast. You’re doing the 'best practices', the 'average'. And getting average results. If you want better, you have to think clearly, and that means thinking independently. It means breaking free of the Social Default. And let me tell you, it’s going to be uncomfortable. You’re going to feel exposed, like you’re standing naked in the town square.
Our desire to fit in is a powerful beast. It often overpowers our desire for a better outcome. We tell ourselves it’s safer this way. And that’s the insidious lie it whispers. Warren Buffett, a man who knows a thing or two about success, put it perfectly: “The fact that other people agree or disagree with you makes you neither right nor wrong. You will be right if your facts and reasoning are correct.” Not because you’re part of the bloody choir.
The people who cling to established practices say they want new ideas, but they only want the safe ones. They want divergence, but only the kind that doesn’t rock the boat too much. So they never deviate enough to find the truly good, game-changing ideas. Because, let's be honest, breaking away might mean you fail. It might mean you look like a berk. And that's a terrifying prospect when the Social Default is in charge.
Lou Brock, the baseball player, also hit the nail on the head: "Show me a guy who's afraid to look bad, and I'll show you a guy you can beat every time." He’s talking about you, mate, if you’re letting the Social Default dictate your life. Warren Buffett echoed this in his letter to shareholders. Managers who make the intelligent-but-risky decision? If it works, they get a pat on the back. If it fails, they get their P45. Failing conventionally? No one individual lemming gets bad press. The whole lot just waddles over the cliff together.
Lemmings, bless their little cotton socks, might make tiny little tweaks, sure. They’ll faff about at the edges. But they won’t make the fundamental changes needed for an outsized impact. They talk a good game, they market the hell out of their tiny little tweaks, but underneath? Same old, same old.
Real change, real progress, real escape from the middle-aged malaise and stagnation you’re feeling, happens only when you’re willing to think independently. When you do what nobody else is doing. And yeah, risk looking like an utter, total, Grade-A fool for it.
So, take a good, hard look at yourself. Are you spending energy trying to fit in? Are you constantly terrified of disappointing other people? Does the thought of being an outsider fill you with dread? Is the threat of scorn making you sweat bricks?
Because if any of that rings true, I’m afraid to say, the Social Default is in charge. And until you throw that bloody thing off, you’re going to remain exactly where you are, digging that same boring ditch, staring down the same boring middle age, feeling the same boring stagnation. Time to break free. Time to risk looking like a berk. Trust me, the alternative is far, far worse.
Life is a constant evolution, a dance with change that shapes who we are and where we’re headed. And just like life, this site is transforming once more. I don’t yet know where this journey will lead, but that’s the beauty of it—each shift brings us closer to where we’re meant to be.
Change is not a sign of uncertainty, but of growth. It’s the path we must take to uncover our true purpose. And while we may not always understand where life is guiding us, it’s in the act of seeking, of embracing the flow, that we discover our direction.
Imagine life as a river, with its tides, currents, and eddies. If we fight against the current, we tire and falter. But if we surrender to it, letting it guide us, we might just find ourselves exactly where we’re meant to be.
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