Storming Middle Age
Occupying the Soft Flank of Stagnation
Right then, gentlemen. Settle down and listen up. Professor's got a few thoughts for you. Especially those of you staring down the barrel of forty, perhaps already past it, and feeling… well, feeling a bit bloody stuck. Like your life's a WWI offensive, all frontal assaults and bugger-all progress.
I've been poring over some military texts, specifically this chapter on attacking the 'soft flank'. Got me thinking. We men, reaching a certain age, we tend to stiffen up, don't we? We present a front to the world – the successful bloke, perhaps, or the stoic one, the one who's got his shit together. We build these walls, thick and high, just like those poor sods trying to defend Verona from Napoleon. And like those soldiers, we become terribly predictable. We meet challenges head-on, with the usual bluster and argument. Bloody useless, most of the time.
Look at Napoleon. He didn't just charge forward. He feigned a frontal assault, drew the enemy's attention, then he snuck his main force around the side, hit them where they were exposed, vulnerable. Shock and awe, yes, but through indirection.
And Caesar, for Christ's sake! The man disarmed his enemies with kindness. Took the fight right out of them. Turned foes into allies, or at least neutralised them. Occupied their flank not with swords, but with strategic generosity. "A new way of conquering," he called it, "to strengthen one's position by kindness and generosity." Imagine that. We're so busy trying to batter our way through obstacles, when a well-timed act of decency might just bloody well dissolve them.
Now, how does this apply to you, my forty-something friends? You feel stuck? Like your career's stalled, your relationships are a bit…beige, your energy's flagging? You're probably trying to tackle it like a military parade – marching straight ahead, doing more of the same, only louder. You're hitting the reinforced front of the problem, and it's just bouncing off.
Your 'soft flank', gentlemen, isn't some hidden weakness to be ashamed of. In this context, it's that less obvious approach, the angle you haven't considered.
Instead of arguing head-on with your partner about why she doesn't understand you, try occupying her flank. Offer a genuine compliment about something unrelated, do a chore without being asked, listen without formulating your defence. Disarm her with unexpected kindness. You might find her resistance melts away, and you can then gently approach the actual bloody issue.
Feeling overlooked at work? Don't just demand a promotion or complain. Find out who holds the real power, identify their 'flank' – what support do they crave? What favour would disarm them? It’s not about arse-licking, it's about strategic observation and targeted action.
Stuck in a rut? Your 'front' might be your ingrained habits, your predictable routine. Your 'flank' is that passion you've ignored, that new skill you've always wanted to learn, that different bloody route to work. Don't fight the rut head-on; manoeuvre around it by introducing something unexpected, something that hits your life from a new angle.
Think about people's egos, too. They're a huge bloody front, aren't they? When someone’s being difficult, it’s often because their ego feels threatened. Trying to argue them down will just make them dig in harder. You need to make them feel secure first. Validate their point, offer a compliment (if you can stomach it), then, once their guard is down and their flank is exposed, introduce your own idea as a subtle suggestion, a gentle nudge in a new direction.
Liddell Hart, a rather astute military historian, put it beautifully: "Avoid a frontal attack on a long-established position; instead, seek to turn it by flank movement, so that a more penetrable side is exposed to the thrust of truth." Your 'truth', gentlemen, might be the truth that you need a change, that your current approach isn't working. And the "penetrable side" is that less resistance you'll encounter by being indirect, by hitting the soft flank of your own stagnation, or the challenges you face.
Look, the world's a bloody messy place, full of conflict. You're not going to avoid it entirely. But winning the little frontal battles, pushing people around, just creates resentment. It's exhausting and ineffective in the long run. The men who truly navigate this difficult world, who achieve lasting results, are those who master indirection. They coax, they charm, they use humour, they feint, they manoeuvre. They don't reveal their intentions immediately.
So, my advice to you, getting on in years and feeling the pinch? Stop trying to batter down the reinforced doors of your problems. Identify the soft flank. Find the angle. Disarm with kindness, manoeuvre with subtlety, and for God's sake, stop being so bloody predictable. Your life isn't a fixed position; it's a fluid battlefield. Learn to attack from the side. You'll surprise everyone, most importantly, yourselves.
Now, off you go. Start looking for those flanks. And remember, gentlemen, sometimes the most powerful weapon isn't the one you swing directly.
Life is a constant evolution, a dance with change that shapes who we are and where we’re headed. And just like life, this site is transforming once more. I don’t yet know where this journey will lead, but that’s the beauty of it—each shift brings us closer to where we’re meant to be.
Change is not a sign of uncertainty, but of growth. It’s the path we must take to uncover our true purpose. And while we may not always understand where life is guiding us, it’s in the act of seeking, of embracing the flow, that we discover our direction.
Imagine life as a river, with its tides, currents, and eddies. If we fight against the current, we tire and falter. But if we surrender to it, letting it guide us, we might just find ourselves exactly where we’re meant to be.
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